pengakuan

wah hilang sangap nak online. setelah sekian lama aku dipaksa menjadi orang batu tanpa privilege untuk berada di atas talian, kini semua itu sudah berakhir.

tapi tak ada internet pun aku tak kesah... ( yeah, right!)

di hari pertama aku dapat tahu aku tidak boleh online sehingga satu tempoh yang belum pasti. masih cool, masih maintain sabar lagi. but not for long.........

perlu aku ulas lebih panjang? pasti kau orang paham aku rasa, bukan?

adios amigos :)

ni bukan poem. ni sampah!

never have i felt this way before.
the feeling of loneliness.
the feeling that only i feel.
the pain that no ones knows.

i may have asked too much.
i may have expected to high.
but all i want is our old times back.
where no one is more important than the both of us.

never have i felt this way before.
the jealousy.
overcoming my common sense.
taking over my mind.

this has come to an end.
and maybe it is the end.
no longer i feel that u need me.
nor am i important to u

so, let me fly away
soar above the sky, alone
i shall still look over for u
without u knowing, at all.

que sera sera

There are times when you would do
anything to protect
the ones you love.
No matter what it takes.
No matter how we do it.
It's just natural.


And sometimes, you would overdo it.
You cared too much.
You worried too much.


And there are times you should stop.
Stop being too overprotective.
Stop being too paranoid.


So, I'll do what I should have done.
I shall stop and let nature takes it's course.

"Que Sera Sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que Sera Sera "

Pujaan hatiku

Hujan lebat! Arghhhhhh camno den nak poi koleh ni deng? Adoy. Mampuih la. Tunggu yo lah hujan tu reda. Kereta oh kereta. Bila kaw maw menjadi kakasih hatiku? Datangla padaku wahai kakasih, pujaan hatiku. Bila kaw ada, semuanya indah dan mudah. Kereta oh kereta. Cepat sayang, datangla kepadaku. Datanggggg....

Mimpi.

Mana mungkin semua itu jadi kenyataan?
Angan-angan yang indah.
Fantasi yang menarik.
Namun, angan -angan tetap imaginasi.
Fantasi tetap mainan minda.

dilemma taik kucing

I'm in dilemma right now. English or Broadcasting. Broadcasting or English?
Adoy aku maw mati!
Aiseyman.
Apehal susah sangat ni?
Dulu aku dah bulatkan hati nak buat English.
Tapi bile dah dengar pengalaman Kak Ina, terase gatal nak buat Broadcasting dow.
Adoy apesal aku ni frickle-minded?
Bodohlah kaw ni Amorn.
Haishhhhhh!

Persoalan hidup

Kata-kata menyengat, menikam hati, mengguris perasaan.
Sungguhku sedih.
Tak terdaya melawan.
Perasaan ini.
Kekalahan menakluki.

Argghhhh!

Mengapa semua mesti berubah?
Mengapa tidak seperti dahulu?
Mengapa?
Mengapa?

Tidak bolehkah gelak tawa kita seperti dahulu?
Tiada dengki dan benci?
Tiada sengketa dan dendam?

Mana pergi pelangi?
Mana pergi burung?
Semuanya menghilang.
Tinggal pohon kemarahn yang semakin membesar.
Tiada damai.
Tiada aman.

Hanya sedih datang menjenguk.
Menindas ku berkali-kali.

Aku rindu!

Saat kita bersama-sama.
Melalui kesukaran.
Menghadapi kepayahan.

Mengapa berubah?
Mengapa tidak seperti dahulu, bahagia?
Mangapa tidak seperti dahulu, gembira?

Laraku

Malam seperti bersama-sama merasai apa yang aku tanggungi
Dalam hati ini
Panas, membahang amarah

Dari mata turun ke hati
Dari hati terbit cemburu
Menyelubungi jiwa
Membayangi diri

Mengapa kau dengan dia?
Mengapa bukan dengan aku?

Kita teman
Berjanji selalu akan bersama
Biar dicabar ombak meninggi
Mahupun tasik kepayahan yang mendalam

Namun bila yang baru tiba
Kau buang aku
Jauh darimu, lupakan aku
Aku sudah tiada erti, memori lama harus dibuang
Sekarat basikal tua
Selusuh kain lama

Laraku ku bawa jauh
Jauh darimu, hilang dari pandanganmu
Aku tidak mahu kau
Melihat laraku, membusuk di dalam jiwa
Sedihku yang membunuh diriku sendiri
Biar aku beransur
Entah kemana, yang pasti jauh darimu
Tiada lagi aku
Untuk menumpang kasihmu
Meminjam tenagamu
Merugikan masamu

Teman,
Kasihku masih teguh
Buatmu
Kini dan selamanya

Please tell me this is not THE Yasmin Ahmad you're talking about :(

OMG! I can't believe this. Sumpah. I didn't even know she was hospitalized. I'm in full shock right now. Still can't believe my eyes. It's like a dream je. Sumpah. Tell me this is not true and these people are talking about another Yasmin Ahmad. Please. Weyyyyy... I can't take this.

Mesti korang kate aku melebey-lebey. Bukannye the late Yasmin tu relatives aku pun. But to me, she's like a mother. Mother of all creativity and great things. Arwah was the one who spoke for her mind and other minds as well without any fear. She taught me many things through her movies. Her movies were the very best.

Still, I can't believe that this is really happening. OMG :((

Sepet, Gubra, Mukhsin and other movies has been so insprirational to me in may ways. It's like she said or more like she expressed her thoughts that are mostly the same with mine. So, when i watched her movies, I feel related to her. OMG this is shocking babe. Sumpah I don't expect this pun. And I think she's working on her latest movie awww. Such a waste for he to go now. Tapi hidup mati, bukan kita yang menentukan. Kan?

The nation, I believe is not ready for such thing. Well, I am, for sure. She will be missed dearly. I will miss her. Rest in peace.

Have Sex In Goat Pen

Ouh, great. Teen now prefers to have sex in goat pen? Puh-lease! I mean, to have sex when you're barely 18 is already a bad thing to do. And now, you have sex in a goat pen? What the fuck? Go get a room la.

"Apparently, the 15-year-old girl began sleeping with the youth in March and became addicted to sex."

"The girl’s family then went in search of the youth who had disappeared."

Why jeopardize your future for something that has not been confirmed to be your destiny now and forever? Okay, your boyfriend wants it. You let it happen babe. Takkan pokok bergoyang tanpa ada anginnya *nothing can happen without a cause* And then what? Your boyfriend loves you more? They would do anything for you? That's all bullshit! Sex is a no-no for non-married couples. Why? I tell you why.

1. First thing's first. They wouldn't even ask you to have sex with them if they care for you. They won't let you risk your own future.
   
2. "If we have sex, our bond would be greater" is bullshit! You're not married yet for goodness sake! If he's yours, he will be yours, forever.
3. "If you don't have sex with me, you don't love me" is another bullshit with a cherry on top. Like I said just now, if he loves you, he won't ask for sex. He wouldn't want you to just risk your future like that.
4. "Come la. One time only". Sex is said to be addictive. So, one time only is soooo not true.
   
5. You have a possibility to be balckmailed if anything goes wrong. Wow, is this happens, you're so in trouble. Imagine he has the footage of you two having sex and one day when your relationship goes wrong, he would just balckmail you with it. And the, you end up having sex with him because he said so.
6. Pregnancy. Woow this is serious matter okay. I mean, what if you get pregnant and he don't want to be married yet? What the heck are you going to do? Abort it? Damn, the baby is innocent. And it's your flesh and blood, remember? Keep it? And risk being kicked out of you family? Plus, who's going to finacially support your 'new' family if both you and your boyfriend are not working?

All we need to do id to think rationally. You have fun now, later you'll soon regret. He's not going to loose anything okay. You are. So, you should be taking care of yourself and your future. Don't just do it for the sake of showing that you love your boyfriend.

The other day, I heard that an ex-student of UTM found dead in the hostels. She was giving birth to her anak luar nikah child when she died. See? And FYI, she's a drop-out. Why? You ask youself. Don't die because of your stupidness okay?!